~Week One~

Wohoo, so i've not smoked ONE SINGLE CIG for a whole week~I can't believe it. In 22 years I've not gone without a cig for even 6hrs without pulling out my hair :P Chantix if you asked me is a BLOODY MIRACLE! I've heard some bad feedback on this drug but I've not experienced it at all. The only thing I have noticed is that my hot flashes are back a bit heavier than then were before (yes, I'm only 38 & completely 'fixed')...more info than what you really needed right? Well, I can't help it, I am really, really, really excited & proud. After 24hrs I knew that I would never smoke again, and I think of it less & less each day. To be honest, I've not really CRAVED one, there are times when I would normally stop for one, like at work on a break & I think 'smoke', but then I remember...I'M A NON-SMOKER FOLKS~ No more going out in the rain/snow/cold for a stinking fag...WOHOO. Merry Christmas to Meeeeeeee!

Now, off to knitting~ My fingers have been flying here trying to get everything done & you know.."SINCE I DON'T SMOKE ANYMORE" I can get a lot accomplished in a day :) I found a pattern for two needle mittens (i've not done these before & they looked quick) they are sweet! The link is the PDF to download. . The yarn used is Walmart's Sean Sheep...I am a bit of a yarn snob, but these are knit for two little boys that don't give a darn about what yarn was used, I just needed something woolen & warm & you know, it was a little lumpy & not really any kind of twist to speak of in places, but they will be great for little boys mitts . Some cowls & fingerless mitts for DH's nieces, acouple of bags, two pairs of socks, at hat or two, felted clogs...yeah, I'm in pretty good shape. I've not finished my sister's sweater yet, I have a bad feeling that it's not going to fit :S Aghhhh, will have to wait & see.

It's calling for a winter storm today, think I'll crank up some Michael Buble Christmas music, have a nice hot bath, put on some hot apple cider & sit in front of the tree & knit awhile. Ah, LIFE IS GOOD *right Tess*!

~Lil' Dumplin'~

Another bag hot of the needles. I am really diggin' this pattern folks, now if I could just be daring enough to try needle felting them. I've got loads of carded fleece in different colors, but with soooo little time to get my Christmas knitting finished, I would hate the thoughts of messing a bag up and having to frog & knit it over again! This one I embroidered some snowflakes on (hard to tell what they are from photo), it's pretty cute off camera, I really like the effect of the glass ring, a personal touch. I didn't mess with the handle here, just attached!

I've also completed yet another pair of Fiber Trends Felted Clogs for my Auntie M for Christmas hopefully they fit her like a glove. I am a bit tired of knitting these as I've done so many, but everyone loves them and they make such a great gift~



I worked a 12hr shift yesterday & came home to find that my "O" was in the midst of decorating the tree~ Ah...life is good, the Christmas music was playing and the Mr. Coffee Cocomotion was busy doing it's thing...I love this season!

I'm not working today, so I'm off to sit with Tess sip & knit in front of the tree...fingers crossed that it snows ~ I know, WEIRD HUH. I'm on day 5 of my Chantix, feeling good so far and excited...my 1st day of no smoking i've decided is my Mother's 60th birthday...it will be the best gift of all that I could give her<3

~Kickin' the Habit~

It's crazy how the time flies, I've been very neglectful of this blog as of late, possibly as I've recognized that I needed to spend more time taking care of myself. I've been a smoker for over 20 years now~ Wow, I am old! My Dr. recommended Chantix, I'm on day 4. I've spent alot of time reflecting on my life lately and concluded that there's no worse of an enemy than yourself at times. It's been an uphill climb this life, some bad memories and experiences in the past...I'd like to think that I'm forgiven for my errors, and it's high time that I forgive myself. I guess that the smoking is a form of punishment, that holding on of that 'other' person that I once was...a long time ago. I don't want to be that person anymore, I don't want people to see me smoking, I'm embarrassed to say that I do~ when back in the day I didn't want people to think that I DIDN'T, Oh what a world~ Funny how addiction tells you that you MUST do this thing, it's your comfort, your friend...all the while killing you slowly~ I've seen it over & over again. I've long let go of the days of old, I live a clean and sober life...no other bad habits to speak of, just the smoking. I look in the mirror and see the lines on my face and know that I earned them. It's difficult to be hard on the inside and remain soft on the outside, I think I've pulled it off pretty well, but I am getting older and I can use all the help I can get. I want to be the Mother than my daugher can be proud of, I want my DH to look at me and see a strong, healthy woman, someone he can always look to for support & softness.

I'm sitting in my pj's still, it's 2pm and the snow is falling softly outside, my house is clean and warm, the dog sleeps quietly in the rocking chair by my side. My DH got my daughter up & off to school today, just to give me a bit of a rest. I have a wonderful job, an amazing family...lucky beyond belief. I want to live in this world as long as I can, when my number is up, I want to be spent...nothing left. I will overcome this last obsession...I will be a non smoker <3

We are going to pick up our tree tonight, a perfect night for it I might add. We usually pick an evening when it's snowing, pile into the truck & head for the cities square. The vendor has many, many trees to choose from & we take our time to pick the perfect tree. Last year it was my pick, I chose a tall thin tree, it was beautiful, but DH & daughter like the HUGE ones, so I'll need to get at it and make room for the 'forest'...lol.

I've been knitting more than usual with the onslaught of Christmas. Acouple of "Dumpling Bags" from Interweave Knits. I'm also in the midst of acouple of hats, two cowls, two sets of fingerless mitts....lmao. I'm in over my head I know...but I love this season, I love to give...even if they have no idea or appreciate how much work these items have put into them... 'tis the season <3